‘Don’t Walk Away’ About Navigating a Life with Dementia

I grew up in the shadow of Alzheimer’s. Nearly everyone in Dad’s family and many in Mom’s developed the disease. My mother, Jean, warned the family: “Keep your distance. Your father and I will be in a safe place. There is nothing more you can do, so walk away.”

Jean and Marilyn Raichle

I believed her… until Mom began to paint. Then everything changed.

Mom’s fascinating paintings opened my eyes, ears, heart, and soul to a woman who definitely had something to say. Her artwork shared an appreciation of beauty, an enduring sense of humor and whimsy, more than a little mischief, and occasionally sadness and grief. All I had to do was to look and listen.

I joined her in real time where there are no worries, no regrets, no deadlines, no hurry—just the moment, clear, precious, and lived as it comes–where everything is, to use Mom’s words, “just delightful.” My visits with Mom stopped being dutiful, becoming for me essential—a source of joy and a path of personal discovery.

It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

Don’t Walk Away, a Care Partner’s Journey, is my account of a mother and daughter navigating a life with dementia. The book is filled with hope, joy and lessons learned — all illustrated by Mom’s mesmerizing art.

For caregivers at the beginning of their journey, who may feel only dread, unsure about what to do, what to expect, and asking “now what?”, the book provides reassurance, ideas, and hope.

For those well into the journey, it offers recognition, respite, laughter, and always hope, secure in the belief our loved ones are still here, valuable people able to live with joy and purpose, active and connected to their communities.

For the vast majority of people who think of Alzheimer’s only with sorrow, who can’t imagine a life with dementia as worth living, it offers a different perspective and a bridge to understanding that persons living with dementia are valuable people, needing and worthy of our support to thrive and live with happiness.

Contributor Marilyn Raichle is Executive Director of Maude’s Awards, an organization developed to gather and share innovations that will enrich the quality of life for persons living with Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias and their care partners. Read more about her book Don’t Walk Away at Publisher Weekly’s Booklife website.

The top image includes two of Jean’s paintings, “Lilies” and “Irises,” courtesy of the Raichle family.